A Nice Bonus to Losing Weight is an Improved Sex Life

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Being overweight affects many different areas of your life. Being or believing everyone is staring at you can affect your self esteem. This, in turn may result in a lower sense of self-worth. The whole situation can experience a domino effect with one thing leading to another. It can extend to components of your life you have never thought of – including your sex life.

Sex and Obesity

Research indicates that obesity can have a negative effect on your sex life. If you are a male, obesity can result in greater instances of erectile dysfunction. If you are a woman, the problems assail you on several different levels.[1]

  • Your libido or sex drive may decrease or even be impaired if you have too much weight
  • Depending upon the amount of weight your body carries, it may physically affect such things as endurance and even the ability to safely have sex, let alone good or great sex
  • Unlike men, women’s sense of sexuality, including the sex drive, is tied to their vision of who they are. This, in turn, may be heavily linked to physical appearance. Feeling unattractive can decrease the sex drive and the accompanying sense of intimacy. Moreover, if you consider yourself unattractive, you will not want anyone to see you naked.
  • Obesity can make a person lethargic. This, too, may result in decreased sexual play
  • A preference for food may preclude any desire for sex. Unfortunately, less sex may result in an increased desire for increasing the food intake. It becomes a very vicious circle.

Overall, research indicates that many obese and overweight women and men are losing out. If you stop to think about this, then an improved sex life is an excellent motivation for losing weight.

Sex and Motivation

A desire to improve or experience a healthy sex life can be gained in conjunction with a healthy weight loss. Dieting is always essential. Exercise is also a necessary component, but what you need is motivation.

Motivation is an essential aspect of losing weight. Whether you sign up for a weight loss program or act on your own, you need the right type of motivation. Sex can be a factor in losing weight and keeping it off because wanting a healthy sexual life can be motivating. Sex, as long as it is your own personal idea and not your partner’s, is a form of self-motivation. If you let anyone else dictate your weight loss, you are being controlled instead of motivated. Self-motivation is more successful in terms of both initial and long-term loss. More importantly, self motivation helps you keep the weight loss off.[2]

The Proof is in the Research

Several studies have connected the factors of obesity and sexuality. Martin Blinks et. al. presented a study in 2005 for The Obesity Society on the effect too much weight can have on your sex life. He also provided data to indicate that, by following the guidelines published by such groups as the American Heart Association, you can put sex back into your love life. Simply stated, the study reveals that if you lose 10% of your weight, you will witness a visible improvement in your sex life.[3]

According to Blinks, if you drop the weight your chances of improved sex, decreased sexual dysfunction and improved sense of worth are significant. The percentage of women who considered themselves unattractive decreased from 68 to 26 percent. The number who believed it was alright to now be seen naked increased from 34 to 63 percent. In addition, the study saw measurable increases in sexual enjoyment and the ability to engage in sexual relationships rather than avoid the dating scene all together.

Cautionary – Do not Proceed without a Plan

Motivation by itself is not enough to lead to weight loss. You must also start a healthy weight loss program – a plan to enable you to reach your goal – which in this case is improved sex through weight loss. It means you need to provide yourself with a detailed plan of your intent, your goals and sub-goals as well as the mean of doing so. Sit down and compose your declaration of independence from excess weight! Write down:

  • Goals – make them reasonable not grandiose. Do not make them so complicated and difficult to achieve that you have set yourself up to fail in your weight loss plan
  • Prepare to track your progress. This can be a daily record or calendar of what you have done and intend to do.
  • Use these progress records to help you keep track of your progress towards achieving your goals. Make sure you are honest on this self-monitoring form when recording the ups and downs of dieting.
  • Make sure you stop and assess your successes and failures on a regular basis. This step is comparable to your employer sitting down with you and having you talk about your goals, how close you are to reaching them and the little positive steps you have made along the way.
  • Call on family, friends and even groups to provide you with support. You will need them to act as your crew or cheer leaders. Attend weight loss seminars and groups for additional support
  • Focus on the long term effects this move towards weight loss will have on your lifestyle. Not only will your sex life possibly improve, but so, too, will your health. A healthy weight loss plan will decrease the risks of so many different health issues.

Overall, it is really true. Size does matter when it comes to your health and sometimes your sex life.


[1]  Greene, Bob (2010). The Life You Want. New York: Simon & Schuster.

[2] Ryan RM; and Deci, EL (2000).  “Self-Determination Theory and the Facilitation of Intrinsic Motivation, Social Development, and Well-Being.” American Psychology. 55:68-78.

[3] Blinks, M; Kolotkin, R; Truls, O.; Crosby, R; Mitchell, J; and Hartley, G. (2005). Presentation for the Annual Scientific Meeting of the North American Association for the Study of Obesity 2005.


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